Diary Quotes was last updated
2003-04-18 @ 12:23 a.m.

Yay, good news, kids! Roach has a new pad! The link at the bottom has changed. Also, Happy Easter! (A little late, but better late than never.)

My parents are cutting in on my porn time.



"Sir, does this LOOK like Club Med to you?"

I would like to Buy tickets to go see Mike Doughty April 30th. You should Jump at the chance to sell, for the superb payment I offer. Please, let me go down to see this show on April 30. You will not regret selling them.

I won't go into detail, but I will say two words: Sacramental Beer. That ought to give you a rough idea.


Is it me, or is serving Bloody Mary's as the one of the featured beverages a tad creepy on Easter?


I turned to open the door. He tapped me on the shoulder and swept me off my feet by saying "What are the odds of me tearing off a piece, sweet thang?"


- When eggs have all been coloured, go to cupboard to find the cool stuff to decorate the eggs with.
- Don't find anything and then realize you never did get around to buying cool stuff to decorate eggs with.
- Go sit down, put your head down on the table, and cry.



DON'T THEY KNOW THAT XANDERNESS IS VITAL TO MY COGNITIVE PROCESSES????? fuck.


If I were a superhero, I think I'd like to be named Shlomo Horowitz.


The obnoxiously bitchy gay male, is, without a doubt, my least favorite type of homosexual. I would hate these bitches even if they WEREN'T gay.


I'm introducing a new character here in the Haus. His name is Spamdrew. He's a goofy little man that runs a web site. He is also a closet homosexual and he dresses in drag periodically... sometimes while writing goofy entries in his own blog.


Also, by far, the best quote from the bar yesterday afternoon was "I think all phones should have a breathalyzer built into them." Of course, if that was the case, more than a third of my Top 100 Most Embarrassing Moments would not even exist.


I was extremely tempted to toss some of my Skittles into the vicinity of the Loud Mullet's exposed anal area, but I opted out of the idea when I got a look at his beefy biker equally-mulleted girlfriend.



Andrew Makes Me Put This Here.